Looking forward to summer!

Summer is just around the corner! I can't wait for walks to the park with my boy and his wagon or trips to the Old Mill with the kids so they can walk, drive, or ride their bike!! This is going to be a very busy summer and it's filling up already! Jorie's last Brownie meeting is this week and she completed Awana last week. Hard to believe that Ryan has almost finished his first year of highschool! So proud of my kids and how hard they have worked. I hope the summer doesn't fly by too quickly!!

My baby is FOUR!!!

Yesterday was Josh's 4th birthday!! But, today was the party. We celebrated it with family. We had 2 grandpa's, 1 great grandpa, 2 grandma's and one great aunt come!!! Not to mention Ryan's friend, James. Such a fun day!! I really feel that 4 is definitely the end of baby-ness. I mean 3, you can still sort of get away with calling them baby. But, once they turn 4, they are a little boy/girl. :( Makes me sad at how fast my babies are growing up! We have been so incredibly blessed to have Josh in our lives. We often talk about the fact that if we hadn't lost baby #3, Josh may never have even been born. My third pregnancy was one of the hardest for me. The nausea hit really early and I was immediately in bed for 5 weeks. Some of that time on IV's to keep me hydrated. After we lost that baby, it took alot of faith for me to go through that again. Not only because of the fear of another miscarriage. But, for the fear of having to endure such wretched nausea for months and months! That's why we feel Josh is such a miracle. He was the only baby out of all 4 pregnancies that I didn't experience the extreme Hyperemesis with. I probably felt the nausea that most pregnant women feel. Meaning I didn't feel all that great. But, it was NOTHING like the past pregnancies. I always felt that God blessed us for taking that leap of faith to try again.

Josh wanted a rainbow cake for his birthday this year. So funny to me that he requested that. But, a rainbow cake was what he got!! He got a new shopping cart, play food and a cash register so he and Jorie can play store together. Something they love to do together. He also got a Mater truck from the movie "Cars". When you push it, it actually blows bubbles! And several other gifts. He was a happy boy!

Lifelong grief

I was listening to Focus on the Family this morning and they were talking about infertility. They were talking about the pain of not being able to have children or getting pregnant and then miscarrying. Although, I can't relate to not being able to have a child; I can relate to miscarriage as we lost our 3rd child in 2006. But, they went on to say that infertility was a journey of pain. It's an isolating pain. A pain that not everyone understands. A powerful sorrow that you feel when you might attend a baby shower or work in the church nursery or even just seeing a family together playing in the park with their kids. And I couldn't help but think of our own painful journey of SMA. Having a child with such a sad disease as SMA is also a lifelong journey of pain. It never really goes away. Each time I see boys playing that are about the same age as Ryan; I grieve. I grieve for the loss of what my son could never do and will never be able to do. I grieve for the pain he has had to endure in his short life. I grieve for future pain he will someday endure and the loss of abilities as he gets older and the disease takes away even more of his functions. Although, I try hard not to, sometimes my mind will go to that day when we will eventually lose him to this disease. And even then our journey will not be over. For then we will be grieving the loss of our precious child until we are reunited with him again in heaven. My heart aches for those women who can't have a child. I can't imagine their personal pain. But, I can relate; even if only because of our own journey through our experiences with Ryan. It's a lifelong journey. One day all of our pain and sorrow will be over when we are in the presence of our heavenly father. And there are days when that is the hope I have to cling to to get me through.

Mother's Day 2011

Ever since I was a little girl, I have wanted to be a mother. My days as a little girl were filled with playing with dolls. Not so much barbie dolls or even the grown-up girl dolls (like Amercian Girl Dolls); but BABY dolls! In fact, my grandma, pictured in this post, was also really into dolls! So, we shared a common interest and we often went to doll shows or shopping for dolls. Some of my fondest memories of my grandmother revolved around either Christmas shopping for a new doll or playing with her collection of dolls! In fact, she still has her collection in a special room in her house! I am so thankful to be the mommy to my three children! Although motherhood is much harder than I ever dreamed it would be. It is also the most rewarding job there is!I hope that you all had a blessed Mother's Day!!! I enjoyed the day with my three kiddos and my own mom and even my grandma who traveled here with my grandpa to be with us!!

Friends who go way back!

A few weeks ago I had the opportunity (as I posted recently) to visit some old friends. In fact, in just 3 weeks time, I saw all three of my very best friends from the past. But, of the three, I would have to say Kelli is the one I have kept the closest contact with over the years. We were in eachother's weddings AND we both married men with the same first and middle names! Even sharing the same first initial in their last names. :) We both had children fairly close together as well. Her first child is just a few months younger than Jorie is. And over the years, our husbands have become friends as well. And when the four of us get together, we never run out of things to talk about. I will never forget the last picture posted of the two of us. I had just returned from a week long trip to Hawaii; which is why I'm so dark! But, the reason I went on the trip was not what you might think. Aaron had just died and my parents didn't want to leave me home alone for 10 days while they took my younger sister on her graduation trip. So, last minute arrangements were made and I was able to travel to Hawaii with my family. Although it was an extremely sad time in my life. It was a trip I will never forget. This picture of Kelli and I always brings me back to that painful time in my life. But, also a time when I really leaned on my friends to get me through. Without my hope in the Lord, family and friends, I don't know how I would have made it through such a difficult time.

Easter

Had a wonderful Easter weekend. Both sisters were able to come with their families. We decided to dress all the boys alike for pictures. Something that we have been planning for quite some time. It's rare to have everyone together in one place so we took advantage of it. I actually snapped several more pictures of all the cousins together. But, won't be able to post them all just yet. We're working on something special for someone. ;)There were several that turned out pretty cute. I thought it was so sweet to see Jorie surrounded by all the boys. :)

Family update!

Here is a little update on our family. We have been keeping very busy! Jorie is our little social butterfly and is involved in both Awana and Brownies this year. She LOVES school so much that she will actually choose school over almost anything. Even her cousin's birthday party! Her cousin from out of town had a birthday party today and Jorie had planned to attend with my parents and decided she didn't want to miss even one day of school to go to the party. Silly girl. She seems the happiest when she is with a friend. And this past weekend, attended two birthday parties of girls in her class at school. She is really becoming a little lady and growing up way too fast! I ask her to stop growing up so fast; but she won't listen!

Ryan is doing well. He is finishing up his freshman year in highschool! He is counting down the days until school is out for the summer. He has alot more freedom in the summer time. Freedom from school work, usually less illness and alot more ability to get outside to drive his chair around. During winter months, driving around outside is nearly impossible. Ryan's powerchair cannot get wet and will get stuck fairly easily in deep snow. Ryan's body also does not handle the cold weather very well. He is cooped up ALOT during the fall and winter months and summer is his favorite time of the year by far!! We are already planning a trip to Seattle to visit his best friend, Sam! And the two boys usually spend the 4th of July together. A fun tradition we started several years ago now.

Josh will turn 4 next month and is super busy! He goes from one activity to the next and keeps me busy all day long. We recently signed him up for preschool and he will start this fall. I think it will be good for him to be around kids his own age. He doesn't attend sunday school, currently. We haven't pushed the issue too much as we recently started attending a new church and anything new is very hard for Josh. He has a hard time adjusting to new surroundings and new situations. He seems to be much more reserved than his big sister is. So, hopefully preschool will bring him out of his shell a bit. And he will be attending the same school as big sister; so that helps.

As I posted below, Steve and I recently enjoyed a much needed weekend trip away. We had a great time seeing all of my grandparents and old friends. We will celebrate 10 years of marriage in just a few short days. It really doesn't seem possible that its already been 10 years! Wow. Time sure flies!